Karin's Doujin
by MunchMcButtFace
Summary: In which Taka and Yamato discover Karin's 18 football doujin, pitting Yamato against Shin in the fight to prove just who is Sena's One True Rival. Friendships are ruined, property is destroyed, and Musashi's sex life just got a lot more interesting. pure crack
1. Chapter 1

Karin checked her phone again: Nothing. Fifteen minutes late and still no sign of Yamato Takeru. It wasn't that she was embarrassed to be sitting around in a cafeteria all alone, but it was unusual for Yamato to be anything other than straight on the second.

"Karin."

"Huh- Oh, Taka, uh, hey…" Karin stood up and turned around towards her stern-faced friend. "I wasn't expecting you. I thought Yamato was- uh, what's…That?"

"It's nonsense." Taka swished his hair over his shoulder and set down a portable projector screen. The black cord shook as it dangled, as if it were just as embarrassed to be there as the star cornerback.

Karin looked around in confusion, as Taka took a seat next to her and began reading again.

"Hey, hey- Karin! Oh, good, Taka found you okay!" The young man she had been waiting for bolted in, the double doors swinging behind him.

"Yamato- what's that? And what's the emergency?"

"There is no emergency," Taka muttered.

"Uh, yeah, about that- Karin, I need to talk to you about your comic,"Yamato said, heaving a projector, extension cord and all, onto the table. He started up his laptop with a buzz.

"Ah- hahah- what? Which one?" Karin asked blankly.

"Taka- _Takaaaa,_ can you get the screen for me?" Yamato asked in what he clearly thought was a winsome voice.

"No."

"What comic?" Karin repeated, flustered.

"Ah-" Yamato reached inside his hoodie pocket and whipped out a furled-up comic book. " _This._ "

"Oh _NO!_ " Karin gasped, grabbing for it, but it was too late. "No, Yamato- I-"

"Your _Amefuto Fan_ series," he continued.

Karin moaned, wishing that she could curl up into a ball, die, and then sink in the floor just for good measure. "No, please-"

"Yeah, it's pretty good! Love the art, we just found it in the adult section yesterday and me n' Taka read all of them together- right?"

Taka let out a noncommittal grunt, not even bothering to look up. "Karin… Apologies. I allowed him to have coffee…"

"No- Taka…" Karin whispered, slowly shrinking in on herself.

"Well… If you really want to know, I felt the ending of SAILOR PRINCE~mermaid love~ was too rushed… Kakei would never make such an important decision based on his emotions like that," Taka stated.

Karin died a little more on the inside.

"But yeah. Anyways, keep up the good work, Karin, you're such a talented artist!" Yamato gave her one of his dazzlingly white smiles. "But what I wanted to talk to you about, this comic." He put it on the table in front of her. "First of all, you got Shin down, _spot-on._ Like, seriously, you never met him before?"

"Get to your ridiculous point, Takeru," Taka snapped.

"Okay. So-" Yamato pulled down the screen and clicked to open his Powerpoint.

Karin stared at the title in incomprehension. "…Fourteen Reasons… Fourteen Reasons SenaxYamato trumps ShinSena?!"

Fifteen slides later, Yamato crossed his arms. "Now… Do you see what I mean?" he asked her, his eyes serious.

"….," said Karin.

Yamato stood, waiting for confirmation that he had made excellent, logical points as to why it should be him, not Shin, forcibly penetrating Sena.

Karin just stared at him.

Finally, Taka broke the silence. "Takeru, you are completely inane," he said coldly, putting down his book.

"Ah… Taka… He doesn't mean…"

"I already refuted each and every one of your points, Yamato Takeru… Perhaps we can agree to disagree, but I will not change my stance, Sena _belongs_ with Shin, and if you cannot see that, I think you need to re-examine the very compelling evidence towards it."

Yamato put his hands on his hips, still grinning. "You still going to go off the 'romantic rivalry' thing? Well, we were both, for all intents and purposes, Eyeshield. Eyeshield 21. Sena and I, we know what it's like, to have to carry the mask- I think we have this really-" Yamato held up two fingers together. "Really, really intense emotional connection. You don't get closer than that."

"I beg to differ," Taka replied. "I definitely beg to differ…"

"What have I done…" Karin said weakly.


	2. Chapter 2

The Honjos' sitting room had a wall that was all window. In the late afternoon, the light that streamed in past the building tops outside.

"Biscuit," Taka offered, sliding a tiny white dish with some shortbread on it over to his friend.

"Thank you." Karin took one out of politeness, and the moment Taka looked back down to his book, stuffed it back amongst its peers.

"So." Taka peered up from the pages of _Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage._ "Are you going to continue Shin-Sama?"

"No, sorry, all of the Amefuto Fan series are one-shots."

"Pity. Will you be making more like it, in the future?"

Karin fiddled with her braid. "…More like it? Like, that art style, or-"

"More of Shin Seijuro and Eyeshield 21. With Sena crying."

"Well, in the future? Uh… I guess… Everything's fair game at this point…" she admitted. "…Maybe not so much crying next time though."

"Another pity. I quite enjoyed the crying." Taka looked over the table at her paper.

Karin laughed awkwardly, unsure of how to respond to his proclamation. "Really?"

"Yes. I am not sure why, but Sena crying is… Really… Quite appealing. But aside from that. Have you spoken with Takeru recently?" he asked suddenly.

"Uh, yeah, I have… He's helping me with my economics class. Why?"

Taka slowly lifted his chin up and lowered his gaze towards her. "No reason… I was curious as to if he ever mentioned his little preoccupation about himself and Sena to you."

Karin giggled. "He's just so _set_ on it!"

The hawk-like man's eyes narrowed. "It's absolutely silly, isn't it? Because of him and Shin, and all."

Having grown up with siblings, Karin recognized the trap. "Both of you have good points, and uh- I-I don't think I should take sides!" she exclaimed quickly.

"That is all right," he huffed, "because at least ShinSena is real and YamatoSena is just some stra-"

"Wait, wait, wait, _what?"_ Karin snorted, snapping a biscuit in half in surprise. "Taka, Shin and Sena are- uh- I mean- what you said-"

Taka looked away quickly, embarrassed. "Well… I mean… I think it's obvious…"

Karin deflated. "I thought you meant like… They were actually…"

" _Well,_ I think it's heavily implied," Taka argued back. I mean, of course they would not be open about it, but I think that it's hinted enough so that we can assume…"

A bright chirping sound broke into the air. Karin recognized the ringtone, the custom one Taka had set for his best friend. "Yamato's texting you," she observed.

"Hmph." Taka reached out a single finger and unlocked his phone. He peered imperiously over the screen, but in a second, his eyes widened in shock. Furiously, he jabbed at the phone, texting out a speedy reply. "That-" he cursed.

"What's wrong?" Karin asked anxiously.

"That- that _guy!_ " Taka exclaimed, continuing to text. "Karin, this is serious- ah- I don't have anyone's number…"

"Tell me what's going on," she pleaded.

"Do you have Eyeshield 21's phone number?"

"N-No I don't, why would I?"

Taka scowled and flipped open Yamato's last text message to him.

 _Taka Taka! Guess who's on the train to Tokyo? YamatoxSena FTW! (_ _͡_ _͜ʖ_ _͡_ _°)_

"Oh my _God!_ " Karin cried.

"Ah- I have Raimon Taro's number- that will do." Harder than Karin had ever seen him, Taka punched in the selected contact, and held the phone to his ear. "Hello? Yes, Raimon Taro. This is me."

* * *

"-And yeah, I tried to get in the back room. Couldn't find it though." Monta shrugged, eyeing the storage room in the Devil Bats clubhouse.

"Huh. Okay. I'll ask Hiruma before I go home, then?" Sena offered. "I mean, if he comes back in time… He and Musashi have been gone for a really long time."

"Yeah. But it's gotta be here s-" Monta frowned and dug out his phone. "Someone's calling me- oh my God-" He quickly shoved the phone to his ear. "T-Taka! Y-You're calling me-" The receiver's expression changed from delighted disbelief to actual disbelief. "…Sorry? No, no, I didn't get that. Sorry! Sorry max- can you repeat that?"

Sena stared in confusion as his friend exhaled loudly and hung up. "What is it?"

"Uh, Sena, sorry… I think I misunderstood… He sounded kind of… Angry," Monta said anxiously.

"Well, what was he calling about?" Sena asked, opening a new can of bleach.

"I think I heard wrong or something."

"I dunno, maybe you did. Anyways, what did he say?"

Monta swallowed hard. "He said to warn you that Yamato Takeru is coming down to Tokyo to seduce you. Be careful."


	3. Chapter 3

"I can't believe we're doing this," Musashi said, completely unamused.

"Shut up and spread your ass," Hiruma ordered.

"I still can't believe I'm doing this." Musashi peered at the printed pages of the comic book. "Besides, Hiruma, aren't _you_ the one in this position?"

Hiruma shrugged. "We're switching. I don't want your wrinkly old dick anywhere near me. Stick your legs out more."

Musashi grumbled, but complied. "Are we done yet?"

"Yeah, like that. Kay, I'm going in," Hiruma announced, sliding his pants down.

The kicker snorted in surprise and quickly turned around, pulling his pants back up. "Shut up, Hiruma, are we really going to-"

"Yeah, why else would I buy Karin's goddamn porn?" the blonde demanded.

"I don't know, to read it and stop there like a normal person?" Musashi snapped, just as one of Hiruma's many phones started up a loud buzzing.

"Ignore it," Hiruma ordered, closing in on Musashi again.

"Just answer it. Might be the cleats we ordered," Musashi urged.

"Get back on your knees and I will." Hiruma rolled his eyes and flipped the phone open. "What? Who's this- oh, Koizumi. What do you want?"

Musashi shifted to a crouch as he regarded his best friend speaking on the phone. "Hmm."

"Huh? Yeah, I have, why? …If he wants to tell me something, put him on the line. Okay. Fuckin' Hawk-Eyes. Yeah. …Yeah, I read them. …No. What?" Hiruma cackled aloud. "Fuckin' Yamato? What? I thought you just asked me to _stop_ Yamato, but I don't think you're _that_ brainless." He paused. "Stop Yamato? Asshead, no one can stop that Caeser's Charge, that's why it's called fucking Caeser's fucking Charge. Eh… Eh… Fine. Oh, really?" Hiruma sighed. "Kay, Hawk-Eyes, you owe me a favor and I'm going to pick it up when you least expect. Deal? Deal. Now fuck off."

"Is being so rude really necessary?" Musashi grumbled.

"Yep." Hiruma hung up and tossed the phone over his shoulder, and picked up a new phone. He jabbed at the keypad and waited as it rang. "Hello? Sakuraba. Yeah, you. Well, I don't know why I feel like being nice today, but heads up, the owner of Playhouse Café's out for blood… Hmm? Why? I don't know, but it's something to do with her HDTV, and Shin? You don't think he broke her expensive- oh, really? You think? Shin could have done that?! Well, that guy should apologize in person ASAP, she's filing a complaint right now! Heh… Heh… You're welcome, Barbie." Hiruma hung up with a cackle.

Musashi figured that he didn't want to know what was going on anyways, and waited patiently for Hiruma to finish.

But the blonde wasn't done yet. That phone call over, he dialed in a new number. "Hey, fucking shrimp. Go to the Playhouse Café _now_ , team business. Why? Eh, just show up. What? I don't care, be there or I'll kill you! …No. No- yeah, I'm still in the bathroom. Well, I got the craps, piss off. Bye." Hiruma hung up again and turned back to Musashi.

The kicker rolled his eyes but obliged. "So… I gather that somehow you're going to stop Yamato?"

"By getting the one man who can stop that Caeser's Charge. Shin Seijuro. Now get back down, old man."


	4. Chapter 4

This late in the day, the café was mostly empty, its usual crowd of students off at restaurants or at home for dinner. "Team business… Someone to meet me here?" Sena reread Hiruma's text. Even if the quarterback wasn't officially on the team anymore as a third year, he was still up to his elbows in the their team's business- as well as that of every other team.

It was a familiar voice that shook Sena out of his thoughts.

"Eyeshield 21! I found you!" A shadow fell over him.

Sena jumped. "Y-Yamato-"

It was indeed Yamato and his brilliant white teeth. "Good afternoon, Sena!"

The younger boy stood up and bowed quickly. "Good afternoon, Yamato! S-Sorry, when Hiruma said that I was supposed to meet someone here for the team, I-I didn't think it was you-" Monta's earlier warning hung in the back of his head. "Uh… So… You're not here for any business with Deimon, are you?"

"Uh? Deimon's business? No, see, I came down here myself, to ask you-" Yamato shook his head. "Sorry, sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. Hey, Sena, can I get you anything?"

 _Get me what?_ Sena looked at the older student, a confused smile still quivering on his face. "Uh… No, I'm the one who's sorry, I'm completely confused, uh, could you slow down?"

But Yamato Takeru did not know the meaning of "slow down." Caeser's Charge had only one direction: 'forward at full speed.' "Oh, it's okay. Do you like milk tea?"

Sena twitched, but Yamato interpreted it as a nod and hustled off.

"Oh my God…" he said faintly, staring as Yamato happily held up the line making small talk with the cashier. _What am I going to do? This is worse than being left in that Apple store with Shin…_

"Hello."

"Wha- oh, what- Shin!" Sena stood up to greet the taller player. "Why is it that whenever I think about you, you pop out of nowhere…"

"You were thinking of me?" Shin had a pensive look in his eyes.

"Uh, I guess… What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. I simply wasn't expecting to run into you here," Shin said, after a slight pause.

"Hahaha… I wasn't expecting to be here either," Sena explained. "It's been a while, Shin… How has your training been going?"

Shin opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by the reappearance of his Teikoku counterpart.

"Ah! A gathering of the greatest runningbacks," Yamato exclaimed, an order number in his hand.

"Yamato Takeru." Shin greeted the other man, bumping his fist against Yamato's. He gave a small smile that was practically a warm hug by Shin standards. "Good to see you."

"Shin Seijuro." Yamato returned the gesture, smiling. "Well, what brings you here? Not that I'm not glad to see you, but I was hoping to discuss a matter with Sena privately-"

"Did Hiruma send you, Shin?" Sena interrupted, trying to get a grasp on the situation.

Shin shook his head. "Sakuraba did… He informed me that somehow, I have wronged the proprietor of this particular restaurant. I came to give her my sincere apologies, but she claims to have no idea as to what I am referring to… Perhaps we had a misunderstanding, Sakuraba and I? But I saw you here and came over, to see you."

 _I'm here because Hiruma sent me. Shin's here because Sakuraba sent him. Yamato's here because- wait, what did Monta say again?_ "Then I don't think anyone is here for the same reason," Sena mumbled.

Yamato and Shin shook their heads.

"Well, if that's business, Sena-" Yamato put his hand down on the younger boy's shoulder, but Sena, remembering Taka's message, jerked in surprise, sending a splash of milk tea over his fingers.

"Arg-"

"What's wrong, Sena? You appear on-edge," Shin observed.

"Oh- it's nothing," Sena muttered. "Just something Monta said- uh- Taka said-"

Yamato tilted his head. "Taka? What does Taka have to do with anything?" He paused, slowly registering the list of names. "…And what did Monta say Taka said?"

"Uh…" Sena bit his lip, his face turning red. (Shin and Yamato both shifted uncomfortably at the sight.) "Well… I think I misunderstood- I mean, I think Monta misunderstood."

"Misunderstood what?" Yamato asked politely.

"…H-He said- He said that Yamato was coming down to Tokyo to seduce me, but t-that can't be right…"

If Sena was a more observant young man, he'd have sensed the tornado ready to touch down in the room, as Shin's eyes flashed. " _Seduce Sena_?" he asked quietly, regarding Yamato with a slow, level look.

Yamato looked offended. "Taka called you, didn't he? You know I don't mean seduce-seduce…"

" _Seduce Sena_?" Shin repeated, his voice going quieter and quieter.

The Teikoku player crossed his arms in exasperation and sighed, half-rolling his eyes. "No. I came down here to ask him a private question, but I guess since you're here, Shin Seijuro, it's not really a private situation anymore."

Shin crossed his arms as well, and budged his chair closer to Sena. "Excuse me, Yamato Takeru. But you travel to Tokyo with impure intentions for Sena, and expect no repercussions for it?"

"Calm down. It's nothing like that, Shin," he replied calmly, edging his chair in as well. "Don't just assume-"

"I will not repeat myself," Shin stated.

"I wasn't asking you to. Look, Shin, I just came down here to ask Sena if we wanted to spend some time with me. You know… Privately?"

"You what?" Sena cried.

The Oujo student, in deadly quietude, turned to face Sena. He slowly stood up, his eyes dark with rage, looming over the table. "Yamato Takeru," Shin stated in a voice so cold it could have solved global warming, " _this man_ , came here with the- the intention of _sullying_ you, Sena."

"What- Shin, I did not!" Yamato protested, standing up as well and taking a step closer to Shin. "Look, I meant a regular date, not a-"

"A what?" Sena wailed.

"You were thinking it, though," Shin insisted.

Yamato stared at him blankly. "Uh, no, I wasn't, actually."

"I know you were considering it, and I will not stand for it!"

"No, only _you_ thought that!" Yamato snapped.

"Do not worry, Sena. I will defend your honor," Shin stated, bracing himself and drawing his arm back.

" _You_?" Yamato bristled as well. "You're the last man qualified to do that! You out of all people for Sena's sake!"

Shin jerked his head, dumbstruck. "How can you say that?"

"Stringing a pure heart like Sena along for all these years? Letting him follow you around without the intention of returning his favors? Inexcusable!" Yamato accused, looking pained at Sena's supposed suffering.

"I did nothing of the sort!" Shin roared.

"He didn't!" Sena shouted, trying to defuse the situation. "No, Yamato- listen, it's not like that, Shin's never- you're totally wrong about that-"

But far from calming anything down, Sena's defense of him only stirred Shin up even further. A heated flush, the first ever sighted on Shin Seijuro's face, ignited his cheeks, and as he turned to give Sena a feverish glance. "You choose to put your faith in my honor-" he exclaimed. "Do not worry, Sena, I will defend you."

"What? No! I'm not putting my thing in anyone's thing, I just mean-"

"Stand aside, Shin Seijuro," Yamato warned.

"If you force me to do what is necessary, I will!" Shin replied.

"None of this is necessary! At all!" Sena wailed.

Yamato ignored him. "You're interfering here, Shin."

"I am Sena's one true rival," Shin said, his teeth barely parting. "I respect your skills, Yamato, but you are the interloper here."

"I don't need to repeat myself, do I?" Yamato replied.

"No."

"Order number twenty-one," the girl at the cash register called.

"Well, isn't that a good sign," Yamato said calmly. "I'm ready… Come at me, Shin Seijuro!"

Sena barely had time to register the events as Shin rushed forward to meet Yamato's challenge. Frozen in disbelief as his two greatest rivals charged each other, he thought vaguely: "Uh-oh."


End file.
